How the blues sound played on a Typewriter

Too much happens too fast and the mistake is trying to analyze it all at once. The mistake is trying to avoid failure. I think my personality types clash like that, I want success so badly, and its so tangled up with work, that I can’t conceive of good results coming from nothing.

I hate not having answers. I’d like to know what I’ve done wrong, still all these women just loose interest with no warning or reasoning or rationale. The one good thing to come of it is that it tests the limits of my optimism. And I’m hoping should I reach the bottom one day and find that constant positivity will only fail, I have bitter wealth of experience to draw from.

I’m arrogant, but not yet arrogant enough to diagnose my entire generations psychological disposition. But down there at the core of it all, you can smell the fear of becoming their parents, a divorce ridden generation we either are running away from or seeking a solution to. I suspect it will only get worse; the two types clash and push one another away. One clings to the other for salvation, and the other runs from suffocation and each come away bitter from the experience. Maybe we need to just let go as a group and take what comes. My experience has always been that the runners feel their more well adjusted, the 90’s was such a time for “independence” that it became ingrained that anyone can go it alone.

What we need is a duo to continuously beat the loners; One with truly equitable relations. The problem I see is we’re still being run by a golden age group of couples. Politicians are running prostitute rings and making out in airport bathrooms and at every press conference we watch their wives “stand by their man.” That’s not balance. And this is what people are seeing, this is what they run from.
Someone somewhere once said that solitude without peace is loneliness.

I spend my time trying to constantly improve in small ways. Reading, Exercise, Socialization, I’ve started trying to do more manual labor if only to pick up some trade skills. I really want to sail. Still I’m not sure how one can reconcile the notion that we can always improve while being comfortable in our own skin.

If we accept what we are, why improve. If we accept there is room to improve, how could we be comfortable by sitting idle?

This isn’t rhetoric. I’m really asking.

you wave your hand and they scatter like crows, they have nothing that will ever capture your heart