The aesthetic appeal of Jack Cafferty

I don’t know where they found this guy but I cannot get enough of the Cafferty file. I think someone at CNN built a time machine, went back to the days when you could look weathered on TV and that was good because it meant you were working and they spliced a police chief and a editor-in-chief and brought him back to our time.

He could be on in the middle of the friggen day and it looks like he’d been run over a truck and asked roughly 47 stupid questions by interns, had to fix three screw ups that cost at least one sponsor and fixed a leak in the break room. He guns through news stories and letters from viewers as if it were house chores or eating brussle sprouts and I have no idea what’s going on with his hair, but it fits. When Blitzer thanks him for the reporting he say “yep” like it was a question on a deadline from office writer, like this was routine and non-important. You get the idea if he could smoke and shoot coffee on TV he would. I’m betting money he does when the cameras are off. He’s like Bob Ucker in Major league behind a news desk. You get the idea when he reports on some obvious political photo-op that as soon as they cut cameras he gives that “who are these fucking morons? Is this the best we’ve got?” speech.

I’m a big fan of progress, but I kinda miss the old world guys who work like its as natural as breathing and give the greatest answers on the planet when you ask them something out of routine.

Basically, there aren’t enough Red Foremans left in the world, and I say that as someone who’s constantly told I look like Eric Foreman.